E35G

irritating much?

2010-09-20T21:13:00.001+08:00

7. Joke: Sunday School Lesson

Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me Janice, who created the universe?” When Janice didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

“God Almighty!” shouted Janice and the teacher said, “Very good” and Janice fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked Janice, “Who is our Lord and Saviour.” But, Janice didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

“Jesus Christ!” shouted Janice and the teacher said, “Very good,” and Janice fell back asleep.

Then the teacher asked Janice a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.

This time Janice jumped up and shouted, “If you stick me with that thing one more time, I’ll break it in half and stick it up your ass!”

good luck uh boy

2010-09-20T21:10:00.001+08:00

6. Long joke: Poor guy…

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:

“Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.” If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”

To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”

exhausted?

2010-09-20T21:08:00.000+08:00

5. Long joke: The bride tells her husband

The bride tells her husband, “Honey, you know I’m a virgin and I don’t know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?”

“OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place ‘the
prison’ and call my private thing ‘the prisoner’. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, “Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped.”

Turning on his side, he smiles. “Then we will have to re-imprison him.”

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, “Honey, the prisoner is out again!”

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, “Honey, the prisoner escaped again.”

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, “Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

true

2010-09-20T21:07:00.001+08:00

4. Short joke: man and woman

It is well known…
Man stands up to get knocked down, woman lays down to get knocked up.

jokes time!

2010-09-20T21:05:00.003+08:00

3. Joke: The deaf Genie

A guy walks in to a bar with a little box and sits down at the bar. The bartender gets curious and asks, “What’s in the box?” The guys says, “Give me a pint on the house and I’ll tell ya.” The bartender thinks, “Fair enough,” and gives the guy a pint. After drinking it down, he pulls out a little man and a tiny piano. The bartender was amazed by this little man who had just started playing the piano. He asks the guy, “Where on earth did you find him?!” The guy replies, “Gimme a pint on the house and I’ll tell ya.” The bartender swiftly pours the pint. The guy drinks it down and pulls out a magic lamp and says, “There is a genie who will give you one wish.” The bartender asks, “Could I possibly have the lamp? Obviously in return for a pint.” The guy says, “Sure!” So the bartender rubs the lamp and the genie comes out to give him his wish. The bartender asks for “A MILLION BUCKS!” As he said this, a million ducks flew through the window. Startled and annoyed by this, he asks the guy, “What is going on?! I wanted a million bucks! Not a million ducks!” The guy replies, “The genie must be deaf because do you really think I wished for a 9 inch pianist?”

guessed what he asked for actually? no? here, let me tell you. he actually asked for a 9 inch PENIS! HAHA

jokes time!

2010-09-20T21:05:00.001+08:00

2. Long joke: A Really Bad Day

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand to see a man cry.”

“No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away.”

“I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.”

jokes time!

2010-09-20T21:04:00.000+08:00

1. Short joke: Learn to pray

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

a reminder for the bapoks out there

2010-01-18T14:01:00.001+08:00

2010-01-16T23:24:00.001+08:00

Dolby surround on a four wheel drive.

guys would love this

2010-01-07T14:25:00.000+08:00

LALALALA

2010-01-05T17:43:00.000+08:00

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

how stupid can she be?

VERY!

blondes

2010-01-05T14:42:00.000+08:00

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."

i'm super bored in class. when are we meeting/having an outing?

Two Thousand Nine

2009-12-30T21:07:00.000+08:00

2009 has definitely been an awesome year for me. I met the most awesome bunch of people ever. I had fun this with you guys this year and I wish to do the same next year.

Happy New Year, E35G!

funny pics

2009-12-02T15:36:00.001+08:00

OHAI THR!

2009-11-27T20:40:00.002+08:00

Nadia Mo is: helping to keep this blog alive.

Changes

2009-11-22T16:47:00.001+08:00

Okay people. I doubt I'd have anytime for the picnic so I think it's best we push it to our December break. Can?

picnic picnic PICNIC!!!!

2009-11-18T15:42:00.001+08:00

foodddd....
who is bringing what?
i chope choc fudge!
wahaha.
dont forget...

mat.
paper plates
cups
drinks
MONEYYY!!!

A Picnic With E35G

2009-11-14T13:05:00.002+08:00

Hey, guys, let's have a class picnic! Here's what we have for now:

Day/Date: Sunday, 29th November 2009

Venue: East Coast

Time: 12PM

To be confirmed. Open to any suggestions.

PS: I'll be baking. Tell me what cupcakes you want and I'll make 'em for you :)

News Update on: Nadia Mo

2009-11-07T21:40:00.000+08:00

Hello my lovelies. Due to an inconvenience pertaining an old stalker, I have moved to a different blog. I won't publish the new URL here for the fear of her finding this blog and following my link from here. So what you can do is send me an IM when you're/I'm online and ask me.

Thanks :)

2009-10-28T21:52:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOON!

2009-10-28T21:41:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY MOONS!!!

you rock our world!!! =]

wish u all the best!

and be happy always!

CRYING is forbidden.

today give chance.

can you guess whose names are not there?

2009-10-21T15:35:00.002+08:00

this photo is supposed to be:

hello :D
shimin *heart* fidah

but then, i added E35G. and so, all the names are written down. haha.
the previous photo was a very last min thing. and so,i made a new one instead. hehh. its very messy i know. i like the e35g only. LOL

english / number joke.

2009-10-18T14:54:00.000+08:00

Ah Kaw was asked to make a sentence using 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again from 10 back to 0. This is what he came up with.....

1 day I go 2 climb a 3 outside a house to pluck fruit. But the couple saw me, so I panic

and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6. So I go into 7-eleven to buy drink but the cashier very rude so I grabbed some 8 and throw at him. He scold my mother so I took

a 9 and try to stab at him. 10 God he run away or else sure die.

10 I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7-eleven. Next day I called my

boss and told him I was 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work.

He also asked me to go climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand. I so nice

2 him but I don't know what he 1. His character very bad, I give him jiro (0)

2009-10-15T09:55:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow's Friday! Lunch together! Yay!

2009-10-14T16:59:00.004+08:00

Today, Yana and I walked past Nazreen at South Angora during our First Break. We couldn't stop laughing. MLIA

Dear Tech Support

2009-10-11T23:02:00.001+08:00

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, HuntingAndFishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks.

Troubled User

———-
REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 installed and work on improving the configuration. I suggest installing the background application YesDear 99.0 to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to do this before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as CleanAndSweep 3.0, CookIt 1.5 and DoBills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0, but beware because sometimes these applications can be expensive.

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

WARNING!!! Attempting to install NewGirlFriend 8.8 along with Wife 1.0 will crash the system.

(See Wife 1.0 manual, Apologize, High Maintenance & Secretary with Short Skirt)

2009-10-09T12:34:00.000+08:00

We should have lunch together

every Friday provided everyone's available.

2009-10-07T21:50:00.001+08:00

I saw Ying Ting today during lunch!

once u forgot to do something...

2009-10-07T15:27:00.005+08:00

(name): "Would you downgrade me for something I didn't do?"
Faci: " Of course not."
(name): "Good, because I haven't done my worksheet."

the perfect son

2009-10-07T13:46:00.001+08:00

A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

People I haven't seen in school:

2009-10-06T23:03:00.000+08:00

Yi Peng
Atikah
Mervyn
Lai Jun
Sze Hui
Michelle
Pricilla
Ying Ting
Nazreen
China girl (IDGAF)

Did I miss anyone?

Let's think about this for a bit

2009-10-06T17:59:00.001+08:00

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, bit it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze those dangly things and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm going to eat the first thing that comes out of its butt."

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

i know u all stress. do this(:

2009-10-06T15:23:00.001+08:00

brainwash yourself before reading this

2009-10-04T22:34:00.002+08:00

A primary school teacher was having trouble with one of her student.

The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the Primary 1. My sister is in Primary 3 and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in Primary 3 too!"

The teacher took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the Primary 1, and behave. The teacher agreed. Harry was brought in. The conditions were explained, and Harry agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?”
Harry: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a Primary 1 student should know.
The principal looks at the teacher and tells her “I think Harry can go to Primary 3."
The teacher says to the principal, "May I ask him some tougher questions?"
The principal and Harry both agree.

Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two?"
Harry: "Legs."
Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
(The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!)
Harry: "Pockets."
Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
Teacher: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, and it is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"
(The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop, the answer....)
Harry: "Coconut."
Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
Harry: "Bubblegum."
Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and dog do on three legs?"
(The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop, the answer...)
Harry: "Shake hands."
Teacher: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?"
Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. Who am I?"
Harry: "A Tent."
Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?"
(Principal was looking restless and a bit tense)
Harry: "A Wedding Ring."
Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, I feel good. What am I?"
Harry: "A Nose."
Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I?"
Harry: "An Arrow."
Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put this ass in Primary 6! I got the last 10 questions all wrong myself."

what were you all thinking huh? HAHA

2009-10-01T14:54:00.002+08:00

2009-10-01T02:37:00.001+08:00

hmm.. have been thinking.

2009-09-26T12:22:00.001+08:00

want to make a new rule?
or jus a mini gathering kind of thing to update on each other?
i feel like we are too quiet. lol.

how abt...
eg. we have a mass convo on msn...every wednesday? 8pm?
or meet up at least once a month?
outings. on 14th of every month?
our class monthversary! lol.
sorry im so lame.

how2?

any other suggestions?
i dont want to forget our friendship.
=[

AWESOME (annoying) things to do in an elevator

2009-09-25T20:32:00.000+08:00

TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: “This is my personal space.”
WHEN there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.
PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
HOLD the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say “Hi Greg, How’s your day been?”
DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: “That’s mine!”
BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
PRETEND you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
SWAT at flies that don’t exist.
CALL out “Group hug” then enforce it.

YOUHOOO~

2009-09-25T18:55:00.002+08:00

If anyone haven't notice, this coming Tuesday is our chalet and it seems like everyone's quiet. Hmm.. Anyway, i need someone to bring their beloved camera for the first day since Nad won't be there. The first night will based on games and some food like Nasi Goreng or watever. I don't know what Our dear friend Fadhli(Mum)'s gonna cook. Hehe. So, people...don't be picky. The second night will be BBQ night. I think there will be cake/ brownie/ cookies/ muruku/ rempeyek. Hehee. Another thing, Please do come for both nights. You don't wanna miss the fun we're gonna have. Till then, see ya on Tuesday.

Love SaiSai. ;)

joke of the day

2009-09-23T02:44:00.001+08:00

Well wishes

2009-09-20T09:28:00.000+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya Adilfitri! :)

-Arlene

its here! at long last

2009-09-20T00:00:00.000+08:00

i wanna wish all muslims

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI
mohon maaf zahir & batin

2009-09-19T14:57:00.001+08:00

I doubt any of us would be free tomorrow, so let me do the honour of wishing everybody Selamat Hari Raya. To me, anyone can celebrate raya cos all you do is just eat kuihs and talk. But then again, I'm just in it for the moolah. So have fun, you guys. I'll be seeing you soooooooooooooon!

holidays ending...ahh sian

2009-09-19T06:23:00.003+08:00

hey people. it's been a long while since someone actually updated this blog. today is 19th oct which means, another 9-10more days and its our chalet!! excited? i know i am. i've missed you guys. meet up soon(:

Chalet and bbq details.

2009-09-14T15:23:00.009+08:00

Chalet details.
What : E35G Chalet
When : 29, 30, 31
Where : NSRCC Bungalow Number 6
How : By car or taxi

By car or taxi

Address: 10 Changi Coast Walk, Singapore 499739
If you are coming to the club by driving/taxi, on the left is a map to assist you in getting here.

From ECP :

1) Turn out at Exit 2A

2) Pass Tanah Merah Country Club Garden Course

3) Keep right, look for signboard (on the left)

4) Turn right into Changi Coast Walk

From PIE :

1) Turn out at Exit 4A (Simei Avenue)

2) Pass Changi General Hospital

3) Go straight on Xilin Avenue, pass Changi South Industrial Estate

4) Keep left, pass Tanah Merah Country Club Tampines Course

5) Turn left to road leading towards Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal, Airline House, etc.

6) Pass TMCC Garden Course

7) Keep right and turn right into Changi Coast Walk

Or you can ask our dear friend Faisal. Just give him a call aites.

BBQ Details

Food Items

Marinated chix wing 6kg
Marinated topside(beef) 3kg
Prawn 2kg
sotong 2kg
stingray 3kg
hotdog 10pkt
otah2 100
corn 7pkts

Side items

syrup(fruit punch) 2 bot
marshmellow 3
hershey choc syrup 1 bot
chili sauce (kimball) 2 big bot
butter 1
mayo 1 bot

miscellaneous items

charcoal 3 bags
wire mash 2
fan 2
satay stick 2pkt
aluminium foil 2 box
aluminium tray 4
forks/spoons/cups/paper plates/trash bags
3pkts(utensils)(2cups/paper plates)
lemongrass (replace brush) 2 stcks
Fire starter 1 box
serviette
table cloth

If there is any other things that i have missed out, please do tell.
I can't wait for the chalet. We're gonna have a blast!
2 weeks till chalet.
-Love SaiSai

Why one wife now chooses to shop alone

2009-09-13T23:20:00.005+08:00

Here's proof of what can happen when a woman drags her highly disinterested husband or boyfriend along when shopping. This letter was sent by a British hypermart to a customer in Oxford:

Dear Mrs Murray,

While we thank you for your valued patronage and use of our store loyalty card, the manager of our store is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of just some of the offences over the past few months, all verified by our surveillance cameras:

15 Jun: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2 Jul: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at five-minute intervals.
14 Aug: Moved a "Caution - Wet floor" sign to a carpeted area.
4 Oct: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror to pick his nose.
3 Dec: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
18 Dec: Hid in a clothing rack and yelled, "Pick me, pick me!"
23 Dec: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, then yelled very loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here."

Yours sincerely,
Store manager

2009-09-05T16:11:00.000+08:00

Changed the layout (though the header is kinda fcked). Hope you guys like it :)

A Random Joke by Nadia

2009-09-05T15:57:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, there was a boy who lived with his mother. Every now and then, a man would come back to their small apartment and spend the night. The boy’s mother would cook the man meals and let him sleep in her room.

A few weeks later, the man didn’t come home for a long period of time. Curious, the boy asked his mother, “Mum, where’s that man who always sleeps in your room?”

Astonished, the mother replied: Son, that's your father!

know your daddy

2009-09-05T12:11:00.000+08:00

A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died. The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed.
The next day, Auntie Susie dies.

One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that granddaddy had died. The father assures the son that granddaddy is fine and sends him to bed.

The next day, granddaddy dies.

One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that daddy had died. The father assures the son that he is OK and sends the boy to bed.

The man goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is so terrified. The next day, the man is scared for his life- he is sure he is going to die. After dressing he drives very cautiously to work fearful of a collision. He doesn't eat lunch because he is scared of food poisoning. He avoids everyone for he is sure he will somehow be killed. He jumps at every noise, starts at every movement and hides under his desk.

Upon walking in his front door, he finds his wife. "Good God Dear" he proclaims, "I've just had the worst day of my entire life!

She responds, "You think your day was bad, the milkman dropped dead on the doorstep this morning."

kantoi!!
translation : busted!!

haha. the kid was the milkman's son.

enjoy~!

2009-09-05T12:06:00.000+08:00

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."

The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."

camel sex

2009-09-04T12:04:00.000+08:00

A Captain in the foreign legion was transfered to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted mens barracks. He asked the Sargent leading the tour,
"What's the camel for?".

The Sargent replied "Well sir it's a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, uh, we have the camel."

The captain said "Well if it's good for moral, then I guess it's all right with me."

After he had been at the fort for about 6 months the captain could not stand it any more so he told his Sargent, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!" The sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the captains quarters.

The captain got a foot stool & proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel. As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool, and was buttoning his pants he asked the Sargent, "Is that how the enlisted men do it?"

The Sargent replied, "Well sir, they usually just use the camel to ride into town to find the women."

opposite attracts

2009-09-03T12:49:00.000+08:00

A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.

The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice.
"Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage. I love my fiancée, very much, but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my future wife will be put off by them."
"No problem," said dad,
"all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed."
Well, to him this seemed a workable solution.

The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up her mom.
"Mom," she said,
"When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful."
"Honey," her mother consoled, "everyone has bad breath in the morning."
"No, you don't understand. My morning breath is so bad, I'm afraid that my new husband will not want to sleep in the same room with me."
Her mother said simply, "Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you've brushed your teeth. Not a word," her mother affirmed.
Well, she thought it was certainly worth a try.

The loving couple were finally married in a beautiful ceremony. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well. That is, until about six months later.

Shortly before dawn, the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed.

This, of course, woke his bride and without thinking, she immediately asks,
"What on earth are you doing?"
"Oh, no!" he gasped in shock, "You've swallowed my sock!"

LOL. his feet stinks and her mouth stinks.

chalet chalet here we comee!!!!

2009-09-02T23:48:00.003+08:00

Yo Yo!!!
My sisters and brothers from different mothers and fathers...
Haha! Sorry. Lame!

heres the list of games that I and Fidah have come out with.
tag or edit k if you guys got other ideas.

monopoly
boogle
taboo
old maid
happy family
dog and bone
treasure hunt
charades
pictionary
a long word...have to find other words. ''dont know whats the name of it''
hangman
ugliest picture contest
truth or dare
1 frog jump over the pond

will go through the rules of the games the next post aites.
choose which games u want to eliminate or add more k!!
=D

we will have alot of fun during the chalet!!!
too bad for those who are not going.
=P
#Fasihah#

loud killer

2009-09-02T12:37:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, " He is so sweet and gentlemanly, he would never go for this carrying on." So she made the supreme sacrifice, and gave up the beans.

Some months later, her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way she passed a small diner and the aroma of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home.

So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt and putted. And upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it.

Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the phone.

The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously.

Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the phone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.

She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!! There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. remember this story people. and don't ever ever fart anyhow without knowing who's around you.

BJ

2009-09-01T12:29:00.000+08:00

One Saturday morning,Glen decided to go fishing.
He sat there for hours,but nothing.The bottle whiskey that he've took with him,was also empty.He throw the empty bottle into pieces against a nearby rock.

All of a sudden,there was something on the hook.He pulled the fish out of the water.The only fish for the day so far.The fish was so small,Glen decided to throw it back.

The little fish was so exited,to such an extend,that it decided to give Glen one wish.

He asked the little fish for some more whiskey.The fish said,"Allright then,when you're urinating,it will be pure whiskey."

So Glen sat there,and wonders,can this really be? Glen took a glass and urinate in it.It was pure,pure whiskey.

A while later,a woman,who was standing nearby,comes to him and asks,"sir are you alright ? I saw you drinking your own piss."no,said Glen,it's whiskey.

The woman laughed.He urinate into the glass,and gave it to her.She could'nt believe it.

So they sat there almost for the rest of the day, drinking whiskey.

After about the seventh double,she asks Glen for another one.He looked her in the eye,throw the glass into pieces against the rock and said "What about drinking out of the bottle ?"

understand not? i know isaac will understand one. HAHA. since Glen can pee out whiskey, the bottle he was refering to was his dick. HAHA

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!!!

ohh guys. i miss ya(:

loads of love,
siti

flee fly

2009-08-31T12:08:00.001+08:00

One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each proceeded to buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they where about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flys landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head.
The Englishman pushed his beer from him in disgust.

The Scotsman scooped at his beer until he washed the fly out and then continued drinking.

The Irishman carefully picked the fly out of his drink, then held it out over the beer and started yelling "SPIT IT OUT YOU -------! SPIT IT OUT!!!!"

so whose balls are those? hehh

2009-08-30T12:04:00.000+08:00

A man travels to Spain and goes to Pamplona during the great "running of the Bulls" festival.

After his first day there, he goes out late for dinner at a restuarant in the center of the town. He orders the house special and he is brought a plate ,with potatoes, corn, and two large meaty objects.

"What's this?" he asks.

"Cojones, senor," the waiter replies.
"What are cojones?" the man asks.
"Cojones," the waiter explains, "are the testicles of the bull who lost at the arena this afternoon."

At first the man is disgusted, but being the adventurous type, he decides to try this local delicacy. To his amazement, it is quite delicious. In fact, it is so good that he decides to come back again the next night and order it again. This time, the waiter brings out the plate, but the meaty objects are much smaller.

"What's this?" he asks the waiter.
"Cojones, senor," the waiter replies.

"No, no," the man objects. "I had cojones yesterday and they were much bigger than these."

"Senor," the waiter explains, "the bull does not lose every time."

if you don't get it, let me explain. in an arena, there will always be a bull and a guy. when the waiter said that the bull does not lose every time, it means that the guy who is in the arena with the bull must have lost. so by now, you can already guess whose balls are those right?

correct. its the guy's balls. HAHAHAHA

our ah lian in class. haha

2009-08-29T23:48:00.000+08:00

ohh btw HAPPY BIRTDAY LI HUI!!!

stay jambu(pretty) always!!

we <3 ya

i forgot to post about this

2009-08-29T23:47:00.000+08:00

ytd marks the last day of lesson in E35G.
i actually still thought of cabot ytd lesson.
i'm glad i did not. if not will regret in life. :)

let us recalled the very first time we met each other.

me
arlene-lian eh
shimin- ai ren
jane- sister:)
fidah- thats the why uh!
saiydah- babe/airen
bibi
liyana
munirah
szehui
pricila
miaowan
yingting
nazreen
michelle
nadia
atikah
seri
aga
isaac
huijie
yipeng
fadhli
faisal
mervyn
laijun

we came in without knowing each other
without feeling the sense of important-ness in each other
without the thoughts of staying together
without the thoughts of building up a bond within us.

time passes, we created the very first bond
we started our very first bitching session
we started our rebuttal system
we started to have a pact, without questioning.
we started to cabot together as a whole

Soon....
it reaches the last day of us being together.
there are some unexplainable feelings in us.
the fun we had, the memories we had will all be
kept in my mind and heart. E35G may not be
in the same class again. but i do hope the bond is
always there.

i swear, the next class i have in next semester would
never be like E35G, it may have fun like us. but the
feelings and bond we had is never the same.

CREDITS : LI HUI

jokes of the day for the next couple of days

2009-08-29T23:37:00.000+08:00

okay. this is it e35gians.

there will be one joke per day starting from just now. but only til 6th of september. HAHAHA. once i'm free, i'll update some jokes again. meanwhile, look out for the rest of the jokes kay?

love ya all =DDDD

signing off,
master splinter

jokes updated

2009-08-29T21:56:00.000+08:00

fine. to not let this blog die, i'll update some jokes here whenever i go online -.-

so here goes the first one :

These 4 gents go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, while the other three are discussing about their children while walking to the first tee.

"My son Kent," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful in fact, in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift."

The second man, no to be out done, tells how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "Norm's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave his friend two brand new cars as a gift."

The third man's son, Greg, has worked his way up through a stock brokerage, and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.

As the fourth man arrives at the tee, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his son is in.

"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased with how my son turned out," he replies. "For 15 years, Chico's been a hairdresser, and I've just recently discovered he's gay. However, on the bright side, he must be good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates."

signing off,
shortstuff =D

Pow(d)er to the people

2009-08-27T00:07:00.001+08:00

Photos are up on Facebook. Tag yourself if I haven't.

HERE

We have too many memories. This is just 1/100000 of it.

2009-08-22T02:00:00.004+08:00

All these memories may seem insignificant to other people.
But to us. It's too important for us that no one understands.
Guys.
Remember the first day we met.
Remember all the times we had together.
Remember our pact;
Never break our bond.

-Arlene

Dear E35G:

2009-08-20T08:09:00.001+08:00

Please wear something nice tomorrow because I want everyone to stay behind after our UT3 to take photos :)

Facial

2009-08-20T07:43:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, two people got creamed; one being the actual birthday boy, while the other tompang-ed his birthday (Chris and Aga). Cream of the day was chocolate truffle. Was it nice? I don't know. Ask Fad. He tasted the cake when he thought no one was looking. Sneaky little boy.

Science UT3 later. Good luck, E35G!

he's legally 18

2009-08-19T01:10:00.000+08:00

an unglam photo of the birthday boy. LOL.

i wanna wish you a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

takecaire =DDD

my first post

2009-08-19T00:26:00.000+08:00

HEY PEOPLE! I LOVE YOU GUYS LOADS!

must keep updating this blog hor. especially after the end of UT. maybe we'll not be seeing each other but still, we got each other's numbers, facebook, msn and this blog to keep us together.

ohh ohh. i got another joke. haha. i know i know. me and my jokes. LOL
so here it goes:

The office phone rings, one of the employees picks up and says:
"What kind of an idiot is it that dares to phone me in the middle of my lunch break?!?"

The caller shouts back:
"Do you have any idea whom you are talking to...? I am the CEO of this company!"

The employee replies:
"Do you have any idea whom YOU are talking to?"

Perplexed, the CEO mumbles: "no"

The employee heaves a sigh of relief and says:
"Thank goodness for that."

and hangs up.

HAHA. so that's it. goodnight lovely people!

yours truly,
master splinter

The last day of school

2009-08-18T15:57:00.001+08:00

We ended our first semester with Maths. Boo? Yeah. Boo.
We're having our first UT3 tomorrow, which is Enterprise Skills.

May the force be with us.